Showing posts with label online movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label online movies. Show all posts

Thursday, 8 August 2013

6 Famously Terrible Movies That Were Almost Awesome

At some point in the last six months, you've sat in a theater watching a terrible movie that took $200 million to make and said to yourself, "Why the hell did they ever think this would be good?"
The reason is that lots of bad movies looked like good movies in the early stages. It takes a whole bunch of people to make a movie, and often the finished product is only as good as its shittiest element. That messy process is how we wound up with ...

#6. X-Men: The Last Stand

X-Men: The Last Stand was the unforgivable follow-up to X2. We say "unforgivable" because the second X-Men movie was widely regarded as one of the greatest superhero flicks of all time, if just for one scene.

You know, the stabbing scene.
Yet, despite coming hard on the heels of that success and boasting a larger budget than most nations' militaries, The Last Stand somehow managed to spit in the face of just about everything the X-Men franchise had going for it. Everyone's favorite characters from the first two films were either killed off, depowered, reduced to cheap gags or, in Nightcrawler's case, completely left out.

7 Movies That Put Insane Detail into Stuff You Never Noticed

We've mentioned before how film directors occasionally go a little bit crazy when it comes to certain minor details, including ones that 99 percent of the audience are never even going to see. A horrifying amount of time and work go into things that will be forever unnoticed by everyone except a few members of the crew. So let's again take a moment to appreciate the awesomely obsessive ...

#7. The Lord of the Rings: Each Piece of Armor Has a Backstory

For any sci-fi or fantasy film, it's one thing to make the clothing and equipment look authentic onscreen, and another to add layers of detail that are physically impossible to notice, even if each frame of the movie is examined with a magnifying glass. For instance, in The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, when you watched the massive Battle of Helm's Deep and the tens of thousands of bad guys storming the fortress, did you notice the handcrafted chain mail they were wearing?

If Michael Bay had directed this film, all those Uruk-hai would be explosions, and Helm's Deep would be a pair of tits.
What's that? You didn't, because it was a massive crowd and the entire scene was filmed at night, in the rain? And because the mail is what they were wearing under their armor, so that only a few inches of it shows even if you freeze-frame on an individual soldier?


Even that codpiece is Orc-accurate. Trust us.
Well, that chain mail that you didn't notice, that you couldn't have noticed, was created by the costume department by hand, link by link ...

... pinched finger by pinched finger ...
... working for two straight years, without stopping. They made 6 miles of the stuff (32,000 feet of it) this way, to lay unseen under the armor of the warriors of Middle-earth.

However, to truly appreciate the completely unreasonable level of detail director Peter Jackson insisted upon, you need to look at all of the armor and weapons featured in the films. Each race has specific traits and customs, and then within those races, each family has their own designs that are reflected in the equipment they wear. To quote the article sourced above:
Freeze on a scene in the Elf land of Rivendell and appreciate the bronze detailing of Legolas' quiver, crafted with the lost-wax process. Pause in an Orc battle scene and notice the varieties of helmets, some representing a family's standing within the Orcan culture, others illustrating that Orcs were scavengers who gathered armor and weapons that were dropped on battlefields. Stop on a closeup of a Dwarf and observe the belt buckles with squarish, angular designs that reflect Dwarven architecture.

His loincloth celebrates the proud Orcan tradition of covering your junk with filthy rags.
All right, let's just take a look and judge for ourselves. For starters, here's Legolas' quiver, which you might briefly have noticed during some blurry split-second shot of his back:


We don't own furniture that well-crafted.
OK, that is admittedly a ton of detail, but that's for a main character. Legolas probably has six hours of screen time in the entire trilogy, of course you would want his gear to look great. But the idea that the Orc armies all had different armor that represented "a family's standing within the Orcan culture"? Why? Because Peter Jackson is insane, that's why. Behold what the masses of anonymous arrow fodder were wearing:



Most of these ended up issued to New Zealand's military.
More than 48,000 pieces just as detailed as these were made for the first film alone, to please the four people in the audience who would notice/care. And even crazier, each one of these helmets has a backstory like a G.I. Joe filecard -- rough leather and cracked metal for Orcs of low standing, long and misshapen for Orcs with (more) physical deformities; light helmets for scouts, and heavy bladed ones for berserkers. All this effort just to be strapped onto an anonymous stuntman as he sprints toward a bludgeoning with prop swords.
They also crafted 10,000 hand-forged Orcish belt buckles that are virtually impossible to see in the middle of a sprawling CGI-enhanced melee. People don't even notice belt buckles in real life unless they're hanging out at the Double Deuce, so they can't be serious about that "squarish, angular design" nonsense about Dwarf belts.

Sean Bean can't even see Gimli's belt, and he's in the damn movie.
And here is where you find out that Hollywood costume people are out of their goddamned minds. Another example ...

#6. Coraline: The Clothes Were Hand-Knitted With Tiny Needles

We know what you're thinking: Of course stop-motion movies put insane effort into detail. Filming those things takes like 20 months, because you have to move each miniature by hand to shoot a single frame at a time, typically finishing an entire day with only a few seconds of the movie actually filmed.


"Well, it took nine days, but we've successfully animated four blinks."
And yes, you're right, 2009's Coraline was no less of a pain in the ass to make, but for many more reasons than just the simple tediousness of frame-by-frame animation. For instance, there's the clothing. Sure, if you wanted a little sweater for the Coraline miniature to wear, you could, oh, go buy some doll clothes ...

"Just glue some stars on a Barbie sweater, there's a cocaine buffet at the craft service table!"
... or you could have the production staff hand-knit each individual stitch in each piece of clothing. And by "production staff" we mean a single person. Althea Crome made every article of clothing you see in the movie, using knitting needles as thin as human hair. You can watch the process if you want, because holy shit.

Someone get this woman the world's smallest violin!

"When we're done filming, this will help some poor gecko survive the winter."
Althea Crome hand-made (fingertip-made?) every last costume change for every last character:


Yes, those are made to fit a doll's goddamned fingers.
She even made undergarments, which generally speaking nobody can see:


But it's nice to know those dolls never suffered from the cold.
If for some reason that doesn't blow your mind, consider some of the more extravagantly dressed characters in the film, and realize that one solitary lady sat for hours in a room sewing fucking pockets onto a 10-inch doll's jacket.

But what a jacket.

#5. V for Vendetta: The Letter "V" Is Hidden Everywhere

Last time, we mentioned Edgar Wright's obsession with cramming numbers into the background of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. But he certainly didn't invent the idea; the letter "V" and the number "5" ("V" being the Roman numeral for "5") are hidden in almost every frame of V for Vendetta.
You probably noticed the more blatant ones:

It's in the part that's exploding.
But some of them are subtle. For example, when we first see them, the characters Creedy and Finch are separated by a "V," foreshadowing what happens later in the film (Creedy wants to stop V, while Finch eventually decides to help V):

Also foreshadowing: One of these men is going bald.
When Natalie Portman wakes up in V's bachelor dungeon, she has a tiny cut on her head in the shape of a "V":
The character Gordon has a contraband Quran lying open on a pedestal. When books are open on a dais, they're typically flat, but not in this movie, sir:

You just got V'd in the F.
There's also a "V" prominently displayed in the hands of the clock behind the evil talk show host in every single frame of his program:

Also, he has the world's most punchable tie. Just thought we'd bring that up.
During the final fight, V throws two daggers at a time, which cross over each other in a "V" shape:
And then the daggers form five distinct "V" shapes while spinning through the air:

Because the symbolism here wasn't clear enough.
Then, Creedy fires exactly five shots at V, leaving a "V"-shaped bloodstain on the wall.
But, hey, you're perceptive. You probably caught all of that the first time you saw it. OK, so let's take it down to another level:
There's Evey's (Natalie Portman's) name: "E" is the fifth letter of the alphabet, "V" is the fifth letter if you're counting backward and "Y" is the 25th letter (five squared). Finch, who later helps V, has exactly five letters in his name. When V attacks the villain Creedy (whose name is also replete with "E"s and "Y"s), Beethoven's 5th just happens to be playing in the background.

Also? His hat brim makes a "V." And there are five "V"s on the wall behind them.
But wait, it gets even more obscure. V's favorite phrase is "By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe," which translates into Latin as "Vi veri veniversum vivus vici," or "five goddamned words that all begin with 'V'."
Finally, in what is perhaps the most mind-blowing detail of all, one of the film's major characters is actually named V.

#4. Shaun of the Dead: Full of Zombie Easter Eggs

Shaun of the Dead is an unapologetic homage to every zombie/horror movie and video game ever made. If you've seen it, you probably already know that there are hidden jokes throughout (for example, if you listen carefully to the news reports that play in the background, they mention things like the Rage virus from 28 Days Later and a crashed probe from Night of the Living Dead). But that's barely scratching the surface, so let's move past the obvious references and go straight for the "so impossibly obscure they shouldn't have bothered" stuff.

There are 170 Easter eggs in this frame alone.
For instance, when Shaun walks into a local shop to buy an ice cream, you can faintly hear the DJ on an Indian music station announce that the dead are coming back to life ... in Hindi.
And hey, remember the restaurant Shaun tries to book a table at, the one that you can't read the name of unless you pause it like we did? It's called Fulci's, a reference to famed Italian horror director Lucio Fulci.

It's a little known fact that Fulci was a giant sentient fish.
And Mary, the zombie in the garden that gets impaled on a pipe? If you freeze-frame at exactly the right moment, you can see from her name tag that she works at a place called Landis, which is a reference to An American Werewolf in London director John Landis.

Don't feel bad, it took us like five or six times, and you can still barely read it.
Did you ever wonder why Shaun owned so many vinyl records and had such a predilection for techno music? Well wonder no more, because if you look over Shaun's shoulder during this scene, you'll see a poster that says "Shaun Smiley Riley" on it, alluding to the fact that Shaun used to be a DJ, as well as telling you his full name, something that is never mentioned in the film itself (although it is referenced in a deleted scene).

Never referenced was Nick Frost's character's former career as Nick Frost.
Throughout the scenes where the cast is holed up in the Winchester, you can hear zombies clawing steadily at the windows. Although this easily could have been done in the sound mix in postproduction, Edgar Wright had extras stand outside and actually paw at the windows for several days, because realism.
But the ultimate act of attention to detail comes in the very first scene: When Ed and Shaun are having a drunken conversation after Shaun gets dumped by his girlfriend, Ed actually reveals the entire plot of the film:
A bloody Mary [Mary the garden zombie] first thing, a bite at the King's Head [Shaun's stepfather is bitten], couple at the Little Princess [meeting David and Diana at Liz's flat], stagger back here [pretend to be zombies] and bang ... back to the bar for shots [the final scene at the Winchester, where they shoot their way out].
 

Sunday, 23 June 2013

5 Great Movies With Mind-Blowing Symbolism You Didn't Notice




Most of the time, it's pretty easy to tell what a movie is about: Lincoln is about Lincoln. The Hangover is about some dudes who get a hangover. Tree of Life is about ... you know, things. However, sometimes a movie you've seen a million times will convince you it's about something very simple, when, in fact, there was a hidden meaning all along that the director intentionally put there, but for some reason didn't want you to find. For instance ...

#5. Aliens is a Metaphor For the Vietnam War

20th Century Fox
James Cameron's Aliens, the godfather of sci-fi action movies, is about as straightforward as a film gets (except for the part where the aliens are actually giant penises, but that was already there when Cameron came in). It's just a simple story about a bunch of American soldiers sent to a faraway land where they are led to their senseless deaths by incompetent leaders. What could that possibly be a metaphor for?
Karsten Bidstrup/Lonely Planet Images/Getty Images
Oh.
Yeah, according to the Alien: Quadrilogy box set special features, everything in the movie is designed to trigger one huge Vietnam War flashback ... and considering the movie came out just 11 years after the war ended, it wouldn't have been that far from the audience's mind. First, we have the dropship, which was modeled after U.S. combat aircraft of the era:
20th Century Fox, Staff Sgt. Phil Schmitten/US Army
After mating them with giant crabs.
Then we have the general design of the soldiers: Their weapons, outfits, and even the designs they paint on their gear are based on the ways that American soldiers used to decorate theirs during the war.
20th Century Fox, military.com
20th Century Fox, eastofeton.wordpress.com
"This platoon has a minimum 15 pieces of flair."
But the similarities aren't just cosmetic; they are also all over the plot. Like in Vietnam, the technologically superior soldiers soon find themselves overtaken by an enemy that tends to sneak up on them in the dark. Obviously, Cameron isn't saying that the Vietnamese were penis-headed rape monsters -- it's more about the attitude of the soldiers towards them, which goes from "I'm the ultimate badass!" to "Game over, man!" over the course of the conflict.
Then there's the way the movie portrays figures of authority: They're all corrupt, useless morons, basically. The Weyland-Yutani Corporation, like many major companies during Vietnam, is putting their soldiers in jeopardy just to make a profit. The commanding officer, Lieutenant Gorman, is not only elitist (he chooses not to eat with his men, which pisses off Hicks), but laughably incompetent: He gets himself knocked out during the very first fight, and Ripley has to rescue everyone. This is most likely based on what most people think of American officers during Vietnam: that they got a bunch of young Americans killed without ever actually getting their hands dirty.
20th Century Fox
The scene where Paul Reiser does an impression of Nixon for 10 minutes should have tipped us off.
It's probably safe to say that Cameron doesn't think Vietnam ended too well, considering how the colony on LV-426 is engulfed in a thermonuclear explosion at the end. And those poor marines didn't even get to do any surfing.

#4. X-Men is All About Gay Rights

20th Century Fox
If we asked you what the X-Men movies are a metaphor for, a lot of you would probably say "growing knives out of your hands and stabbing people." Others would point out that the comic was originally about the 1960s civil rights movement and racism, so the movies must be, too. That's close, but no cigar: The X-Men films are actually one big metaphor for gay rights. Says who? Well, the director, for starters. And both screenwriters for X2. And Magneto himself, Ian McKellen. All of whom are gay.
Ferdaus Shamim / Wireimage / Getty
The shirt was proof enough, sir. But thank you.
Now, you probably noticed some of the more obvious clues in the movies but took them as isolated jokes -- like the scene in X2 where Iceman "comes out" to his parents and they ask him "Have you tried not being a mutant?" or the one in X-Men: First Class where Beast is in a similar situation and says "You didn't ask, so I didn't tell." Or, you know, that slightly homoerotic scene with young Magneto and Professor X in the same movie.
20th Century Fox
Pick one.
But those are just stray moments where the metaphor-frosting got a bit lumpy on top of the storytelling cake -- and let us tell you, this is one super gay cake. Let's go through the similarities between mutation and homosexuality: Both "manifest in adolescence" (in the first movie, the first time Rogue realizes she's a mutant is also the first time she kisses a boy). Both are controversial social issues that lead to scare-mongering politicians talking about "saving our children":
20th Century Fox
We're not sure that "moon" plan has been properly thought through.
In fact, William Stryker, the baddie from X2, also represents homophobia: He sent his mutant son to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters thinking it was a "Pray Away the Powers" camp where his son could be cured, but Xavier responds by pointing out that "mutation is not a disease," again mirroring arguments surrounding homosexuality. When Stryker finds out that his son has been going to a mansion filled with fabulous people dressed in totally killer outfits (another similarity), he gets extremely pissed. Some fans have taken this whole thing about as well as Stryker did -- to the point where the screenwriters stepped in and confirmed that, yep, the X-Men are about gay rights.
thinkprogress.org
Can we pay this guy to come to our comments section, too?
And finally, we leave you with this scene from the first X-Men movie where Magneto kidnaps the anti-mutant Senator Kelly and forces him to undergo a procedure that involves a machine that looks like this:
20th Century Fox
Magneto making a face like this:
20th Century Fox
And a lot of milky white fluidy stuff that spurts out the machine's tip:
20th Century Fox
OK, that may not actually be part of the symbolism.

#3. Inception is Actually About Filmmaking

Warner Bros.
For about a year, like 30 percent of the Internet was all theories about Inception, but while we were busy debating things like whether the movie is a dream or whether Batman faked his death in the end, there was a far simpler hidden meaning we never noticed: The whole damn picture is secretly a metaphor for movie-making. Yeah, that's right: Inception in/cepted you.
The evidence is kind of undeniable. First off, every member of the "Dream Hacker" squad has a role that corresponds with a role on a movie set: Eames (Tom Hardy) is the actor, because he can literally change faces -- sometimes while sitting in front of an actor's vanity mirror:
Warner Bros.
"Where the fuck are my hookers and blow?"
Ariadne (Ellen Page) is the screenwriter, because she designs the dreams; Saito (Ken Watanabe) is a studio executive, because he's paying for the whole thing; Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) is the director, the one with vision, the guy who can bring the whole thing together. Hell, he even looks like Christopher Nolan.
Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
But, to be perfectly honest, all white people look the same to us.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character, Arthur, is the producer, the guy who knows how it all works (that's why he speaks almost exclusively in expository dialogue), and Yusuf (good ol' Dileep Rao) is the special effects guy, because most of you forgot he existed and he probably never got his share of the bounty. It's no mistake that the coolest special effects moment in the movie only happens because of something he did, and the movie specifically points out that he gets no credit for it:
Warner Bros.
The line is "Did you guys see ... oh."
Also, the scene where the characters scout the dream layout before putting their plan into action is modeled off how location scouts for movies work. And did you ever notice how the dreams in the movie don't function like real dreams? They're all based on movie-making tricks: The "infinite staircase," for example, is an optical illusion.
Warner Bros.
"In a real dream the staircase looks like that because, fuck you, it just does. Also, you're naked and late for 7th period Algebra."
Finally, Dom Cobb and the Inceptors' mission is remarkably similar to the mission of a moviemaker: they want to change the way someone (in this case, Cillian Murphy's character) thinks about the world -- like any artist. Even the strategies they discuss (focusing on positive emotion instead of negative emotion, and not "disturbing the subconscious" by changing the rules out of nowhere) are movie-making tactics: You got to establish rules for your movie universe, and you can't break them, or the audience chases you with motorcycles and stabs you to death.